Wednesday, August 4, 2010


I've thought what I'd want my return-to-the-blog post to be about. But the truth is, I can't organize my thoughts enough to create something that's worthy of remembering Noah, not yet.

So instead I"m just jumping back in with my latest news: I've deactivated my facebook account.


I know, I know. It's kind of a big deal. There were several factors going into this. In December and March, when we found and announced we were pregnant, we didn't put it on facebook. In April, when we found out about Noah's condition, we didn't put that on facebook either. And I'm not about to put Noah's death on facebook either. The recent months have made me consider how much I share, and more importantly, to whom I'm sharing with. So that's reason one - Not everyone need to know about my life, my real life. Second reason, thinking back to what I would share on facebook, no one should care if I'm going to Fresno today, having coffee in the morning, or excited about some tv show. In light of everything that's happened to us, these just seem mundane. And my final and third reason for closing my facebook profile - information overload of people I am no longer connected with: seeing people's names come up with information about their lives then makes me carry around that knowledge.

    Baggage. I need to lose the baggage.

People I went to college with are especially special. I had good times with so many people and they were important at some part of my life, and now they aren't not because I stopped liking them or don't want to be friends with them but rather that our lives have taken us different directions. I'm keeping up with those people a) because facebook decides who comes up in my news feed and b) because of the relationship we no longer have.

This is kind of coming out wrong, I'm not exactly sure how to word it all. There are still many people I care about on facebook. I'm just going to move our relationship off of facebook. After all, we are friends in real life not just cyber life.

Relatedly, I can't watch everyone who got pregnant after or at the same time as me have their babies. Selfish, possibly, but protecting myself, yes.

So yes. It's gone. At least for now. It's kind of experimental. It is similar to me quitting coffee cold turkey. It's part of my morning routine and my killing-time routine. We'll see what happens.


  1. I like to think we are friends whether Facebook tells us so or not. :-) I applaud you for making the decision to get rid of your account if it was taking more than it was giving.

  2. Hey ~ there is nothing wrong with setting up a few boundaries. I think it is a good thing.

    We all tend to put more value into on-line relationships than we should. I have thought about disconnecting too...I would rather be real all the time than not. Besides, does anyone really care that much about the mundane things usually posted on FB?

  3. If it weren't for things like facebook, people would probably have more real life relationships!
    We love you so, so much and are continuing to pray for y'all.

  4. I am only on facebook because you are/were... so I can ditch it, and get back to email (groan) and real conversations.

  5. Right on, Annie! I also was partly on FB because you were (I think you were my first FB friend, or MB was!). I do think it can trivialize things, even important ones. It gives the illusion of contact when it is not always there. I bet we all cherish a good phone call if a real visit can't be arranged... Give it a whirl! See what you think. Time to move on. Yr. Aunt J.

  6. you're such a smart cookie - you need to heal and i don't think a single soul would ever hold dropping off of facebook against you. you do what you need to do to find that peace again. we all support you!

  7. Honey, you do what you need. I love you and think of you three often. I'm glad for and cherish those times I hear from you via text or email or blog. And I second what your friend Annalisa said about liking to think that we're friends whether facebooks says or no. :)

  8. Completely understand your decision! Besides, if you are really someones friend, you keep up with their blog, phone calls, and visits! So we should set up a phone date!

  9. Ok so now I know what happened to your facebook. I can't believe it has been so long since I read your blog. For the record I had to google search you for the blog address……I need to figure out how to save it as a bookmark.
    Anyway I'm rambling, I will miss you on facebook just bc I can't send your love messages when I'm thinking about you. But now I will pick up the phone more often and call you. Miss you muchos girl and can't wait to see you soon. All my love <3