tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post570620202832404073..comments2023-03-25T05:24:31.203-07:00Comments on Lost but Loved: Three-parted PostAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07733024244064593839noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post-20189790571379057112010-07-11T17:37:35.624-07:002010-07-11T17:37:35.624-07:00Oh ~ I get it! I honestly get it all...each and ev...Oh ~ I get it! I honestly get it all...each and every thing you said. <br><br>It is hard, walls do need to happen as a part of keeping your sanity, I think. When you face loosing a baby, in that slow and painful way...being pregnant and journeying each day with the joy of carrying your wee one, all the while the current of pain and grief can sweep you away. Just let your feelings happen ~ let them come and have them as they do. Talk to those you can trust to honor your feelings and not try and fix them, belittle them, or judge them. Someone to unconditionally listen is a good thing. Honestly, any therapist should tell you this (and I should know...I was a practicing therapist before my children came along).<br><br>When I found out about Amelia's diagnosis, and then lived out the last 17 weeks of my pregnancy with the knowledge that she was going to die...well, there were days that I was just not functioning well. This is to be expected...this is anticipatory grief. It is also normal and hard. So much happened in my head that I could never talk about...but for some reason, I could post about it. Typing into cyberspace and not having to say the words or feelings in a conversation was/is very helpful for me. This way, I could let it all be real on line, and choose those special people who I felt safe to talk to, when I felt like it. <br><br>Here is the thing...you are totally right ~ no one talks about their dead baby. I believe that our society doesn't allow grief to really happen. Too many people are uncomfortable with it, feel the need to fix something that cannot be 'fixed' and must be felt. We as a culture are not supportive and want to see a happy face. We throw pills at things. But that is just my point of view. <br><br>From what you have written in this post...I can totally see how horribly normal this all is...now that I have lived it. It has been almost 4 months and I can honestly say that after Amelia was born was a lot harder than before. Knowing she was alive within me, that my body was growing her, despite her condition and that I would loose her, was hard...there are no words really for what comes after. It is not something you can prepare for...although God knows I sure did try. I used all my time with her to prepare, make memories, and teach my children about their sister and what was to come. But death is still death. It is devastating. <br><br>I know that you have loads of people who love you and want to support you. And for those reading ~ don't give up on her. Give her space when she needs it, but don't walk away or forget to speak Noah's name. As a mother who has lost a baby, this is a big fear...that people will forget. And ironically, many people may not want to mention Noah's name because they will be afraid to 'hurt you'. The truth is that a mother NEVER forgets and she will be thinking 'Noah' forever...hearing that you are thinking of him too will be comforting. Help keep his memory alive always.<br><br>I hope that I haven't overstepped any boundaries, but I just felt lead to share some of my experiences and I have found that many many mommies and daddies in the baby loss community feel the same way. I know that saying 'you are not alone' doesn't make it better, but there is a huge and amazing community out here if you need us.<br><br>If you want to visit my blog please feel free to get to know me.<br><br>Phone calls can be hard, so be patient with yourself.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14795924138335289826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post-40399867933323228342010-07-12T00:37:41.376-07:002010-07-12T00:37:41.376-07:00You don't know me, but I found your blog throu...You don't know me, but I found your blog through random-clicking. Your family is changing my faith and causing me to think and feel deeper for the humans around me. You have a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing this battle. If you ever go private, it's understandable. But as long as I can read, I will. A post like this- it's pure God and beauty. Praying for you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post-81720293755301695562010-07-12T07:03:54.502-07:002010-07-12T07:03:54.502-07:00I love you Annie, and I figured this was the place...I love you Annie, and I figured this was the place you were in. I think about you and Noah and Dave all the time. We are all praying for you all the time. I am sad that this is your path, such suffering and grief. I wish I could carry some of your pain for you...Jennynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post-90466428429867637642010-07-12T09:21:01.354-07:002010-07-12T09:21:01.354-07:00Annie, please know every time I read one of your n...Annie, please know every time I read one of your new post, I am blown away by your strength and love for Noah. I am so proud to be your friend. To know that you and Dave are amazing parents. I just keep thinking, you two could have taken the easy path. But you choose to take the path that would give Noah a chance even if it brought you pain. Isn't that what parenting is all about? As always, you are in our prayers.Gizelle&Chrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05996279598536520812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post-69110140449737716792010-07-12T11:48:52.535-07:002010-07-12T11:48:52.535-07:00You and Dave and Noah are in our thoughts every da...You and Dave and Noah are in our thoughts every day. Do not be afraid to make for yourself the space you need -- we will still be here when you feel like talking.Annalisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08310473104635226630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post-9305093560808767712010-07-13T10:38:03.583-07:002010-07-13T10:38:03.583-07:00I haven't been in your shoes, but what you wro...I haven't been in your shoes, but what you wrote makes perfect sense to me. I really hope those whose love and support are vital understand as well (you made it easy - you literally spelled it out for them!) and continue to be patient and put in extra effort. And I'd think that "emotional part" is called being Noah's mom, so let that side of you be acknowledged as much as it needs to be. Thinking of your family...{ J }http://www.blogger.com/profile/01686504251791442880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post-62035268898385222032010-07-13T20:26:41.330-07:002010-07-13T20:26:41.330-07:00Annie, you are touching so many lives, more than y...Annie, you are touching so many lives, more than you know. We are all so proud of you and Dave and Noah!Julie in AKnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50698576065888627.post-68869818560219890242010-07-14T20:10:31.668-07:002010-07-14T20:10:31.668-07:00Annie, Thank you for writing. You really are my h...Annie, Thank you for writing. You really are my hero for what you are doing and for sharing this battle and grief in this blog. What a tribute to Noah! Jed and I are praying for you and love you and Dave dearly. Thank you for letting me get to know your heart through your writing!Whitneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10506601984367236362noreply@blogger.com